Miss Manners' Basic Training: The Right Thing to Say Review

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(More customer reviews). . . Miss Manners, a.k.a. Judith Martin, is the cure for the more fundamental illness of which those feelings are symptomatic.
Young people do sometimes think they are being "idealistic" in holding that there is something phony and delusive about etiquette. (One is tempted to imagine them with battered and dog-eared copies of J.D. Salinger's _The Catcher In The Rye_ stuffed into their back pockets.)
Unfortunately they could not be more mistaken. Civility and politeness (which derive respectively from the Latin and Greek words for "society") are absolutely necessary in order for human beings to live together with a minimum of social friction; there is nothing whatsoever "idealistic" about supposing we can dispense with them. On the contrary, this supposition will probably, in practice, defeat every ideal you hold.
Again, the best cure for this disease is to read Miss Manners herself on the subject. Those who have not read her books may not realize that in her hands, etiquette is _not_ a completely dreary affair involving nothing but superficial mannerisms and polite phrases. But it will take only a few pages for even the skeptical reader to realize that etiquette is simply the conventional means by which we maintain, and convey, genuine respect for one another as human beings.

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